The Calm after the Storm
This weekend I fulfilled a birthday promise to my 12 year old daughter. I hosted a sleepover for 10 of her friends at our beach house.
Here’s what I learned:
1- No matter how much work and coordination I put into preparing the activity, my daughter didn’t thank me for any of it so I might as well have simplified my life. It’s not that my child is ungrateful or spoiled (though it really makes me wonder and question if I need to start making her earn everything more), they just don’t have the maturity or understanding to know how much goes into planning and coordinating something like this. So next time, instead of trying to make the homemade pizza, order Domino’s! Your kids are not old enough to understand or appreciate the difference. In fact, they’ll probably complain that the homemade pizza took too long to prepare.
2- My house, my rules. You want a sleepover with 10 of your BFF’s? No problem. They all turn in their cellphones at the door and have them returned to them on the way out. While your child may feel you are the worst parent in the world for doing this, kids don’t have the awareness or maturity to realize they are not fully present whenever there is a phone around. Note to self: Stop feeling guilty. Stop trying to be their friend. Be their parent. One day, they’ll thank you.
3- Pre-party planning: For the first time in my adult life, in the days leading up to this event, my blood pressure was much higher than usual. I realize now it was all the pressure my daughter was putting on me. “We need to make a cinnamon cake. We need to make it the same day so it is fresh. We need to make brownies and cookies, also on the same day so everything is fresh.” Those were only a fraction of the requests. And I, stupidly, complied.
Look, the only person who knew that we baked everything the same day, was me. Those girls would have eaten everything even if it had been baked a few days before… it’s unnecessary to put your health at risk, to satisfy a 12 year-old’s wishes. No one knew the difference and it was quite definitely not worth the aggravation. This doesn’t make me a worse parent.
4- Something is going to break. Plan for it. Anticipate it. Expect it. Put that many kids together and there’s just no way around it. No matter how good they are. Just pray no one is seriously hurt.
As Alannis Morisette sang… You live, you learn. I’m sorry Child #2 and #3. Mom ain’t falling for this again. A simple THANK YOU might have made a difference.
